Lazada Malaysia

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Politically incorrect stereotypes

Absobloominglutely politically INcorrect . . .

... but funny!

On a desolate island in the middle of nowhere, the following group of people are shipwrecked:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman

One month later, on the same island:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.

The two American men are depressed because the American woman complains about her body, the nature of feminism, that the water tastes bad, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least it isn't raining on the island.

The two Indian men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman. 

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Dumb Tourist questions.

How do you answer questions that are so dumbfounding. you get stupefied racking your brain for a response?
AS a one who had  worked in the tourism industry, catering to tourist from around the world, I must say there are certain times when one is asked questions which are so silly, it is very difficult to give a straight-face response. Sometimes one wonders whether these tourist just brought their luggage but forgot to bring their brains when you consider the questions that are asked by them.

Here is a small compilation of the dumb questions tourist asks. For example, in Hong Kong, a colleague related to me this question by a tourist. “At what time do they fire the noon day gun?”
Also in Scotland, I am sure a tourist did ask this question, “At what time will they feed Nessie, the Loch Ness creature?”
And then there was the tourist who had asked the staff at the Miami visitor’s bureau
.”Please may I know which beach is closest to the ocean?”.
 How about the tourist visiting Niagara falls wondering and asking  “What time will they turn the water off?”.

My personal encounter with dumb questions was when I was based at a Thai  island resort guiding tourist. On a boat tour to surrounding snorkelling spots when out of the blue came this question.
 “Is there water on the other side of the island?” and “The sea is so blue here, what color is it on the other side?”

Comments from tourist can rate highly on the stupid side as well. The association of British Travel agents listed some of the dumber comments they had received from travellers.

From beach goers came this remark “ the beach was just too sandy!” Tourist to India had quipped ” It was so disappointing because almost every restaurant serves curry!”.  What about the British visitor to Spain who said “There were too many Spanish people!”

There is an anecdote about a very young couple who had booked a room at a resort hotel and of which they wrote to the hotel “My fiancĂ©’ and I had booked a twin bedded room at your hotel but we were placed in a double bedded room instead. So now, we are holding you responsible for the fact that I have found myself pregnant as a  consequence”.


Monday, July 29, 2013

The "China" moment that united the races in Malaysia

1st version is a shortened version beginning from the time Tun Razak ascended to the premiership,introduction of the NEP and the noble ideals of balancing the economic pie  and ending in the China visit that united the races.

The full documentary

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Whose bread to buy? UMNO bread or OPPOSITION bread?

Q: What's your choice of bread?

B: As in roti or gabenor or the rock band?

Q: (grits teeth) How about roti?

B: Either white or black.

Q: (eyes widen). I'm astonished. Ne'er thought you're a racist.

B: (sighs). I was meaning white bread which is somewhat less healthy but goes well with anything, or black bamboo charcoal bread which has a nice flavor. 

Can i make you a sandwich of one slice white and the other slice black? Like the ivory and ebony keys of a piano?

Incidentally, take either one off, and music can't be made harmoniously from that instrument. 

But you already knew that, didn't you?

Q: What's in between your white-black sandwich, then?

B: Nothing. Aren't we not supposed to talk about gabenor? 

Q: Umm. Back to this gardenia versus massimo debate. Where do you stand?

B: (looks at the ground sheepishly). Sini?

Q: Seriously and surely, there must be some issue in it all?

B: Ok, but only if you insist.

I think if we widen our mental horizon, the matter is all about people and principles. 

Now if we converge people and principles into a complex and extend that complex upwards to an absolute end, then we reach a certain Destination which carries a certain message.

Take me for instance. I am now doing what i was doing ever since the country started. It's like the message is saying, go back to remedial class and relearn the lesson. A second chance before exit, perhaps.

Q: Hmm. That either sounds sad or encouraging, or both.

B: Yes, life is about choices within the swirl of destiny. People can choose the principles they want to practice. However the outcomes may turn out other than expected.

Now, what is the principle behind this bread equation? 

That value for money should be independent of race. 

That if we continue to see everything through the lens of race, then we will only extend what we want to end. 

Because the other principle of life is all about action and reaction, and it operates continuously.

You react by race and i will act by race to counteract your reaction. 

Then you react to my reaction and the cycle continues, enlarges and deepens.

And that because those who want to keep this cycle in order to justify their own importance will be more than willing to lend a mischievous hand to make it happen perpetually.

Somehow, someday, somewhere, we must cut this gordian knot that is snuffing out our instinctive predisposition for kindness, compassion and goodwill towards all fellowmen and women.
(especially women).

Because an eye for an eye makes all blind and the world a monochrome of darkness. Mehr licht, mein kinde getan!

I think it's long overdue, and GE12 and GE13 have shown as much that the Rakyat of Malaysia realize it is not about being civilized to one another for just political expediency which is the solution. 

In fact, it is the problem, for it strengthens the very structure that must be dismantled because that structure propagates differentiation and division in order to usurp power from the people.

So that when people are weakened by that, principles suffer as well and the long hard path to the absolute end becomes harder to discern.


Q: Can i make you a cuppa coffee to go with the sandwich you're going to make me?

B: Why don't i make both for you, and you can add something in between the sandwiches for both of us?

Q: Ah, i get what you're not saying. 

B: Right now, who is really running the country? The gabenor in a piece of paper. The value of that paper has been dropping. Meanwhile the functions of commerce and industry have been propped by subsidies denominated in that currency. This actually double erodes the fixed deposits of reserves for future generations besides raising financing charges that swallow up any hard-earned gains.

Therefore one cannot escape the conclusion people who are thankful to a government just because it gives subsidies forget their own future generations will be the ones paying for those subsidies utilized today, in too many cases just to survive. Yes?

Q: But what would you want the government to do otherwise?

B: Do the right things. 

Clean itself up. 

Be more self-critical than trying to tar others who want to represent the middle majority of moderates and pragmatists. 

Uphold human and people rights independent of religious connotations. 

Practice real democracy even if it means hollowing itself out. After all, a good government won't want to hold monopoly over people.

Next, axe racism, racialism, chauvinism and parochialism. They know what they are. They started them.

And importantly, never help one up at the expense of others. Help all up equally. It's not about catch-up to equalize. How can equalization be truly achieved if one is given and the other really worked for it, furthermore against artificially constructed hurdles? 

Even in bread-making, you can see there has really been no sustainable equalization. Because of the principle of action-reaction. People rail against injustice and unfairness. You can't expect otherwise. It's in human nature. That's an antidote against despotism.

In other words, stop all those nonsensical zero-sum hunger games that says more for me can only happen if i make sure less for you. 

Some nut case makes it his life-mission to policy such a game just because he remembered he had to sell banana fritters when he was young. What about those who had to sell crullers when they were young because his policy had marginalized them? 

Might is right again, is it? If that be the case, a government which only serves might is right has automatically and instantly disqualified its right to govern, for it is no different from the despotism of that tinpot.

And that is also why government procedures must be simplified but at the same time integrity and efficiency must be put on top and across all structures, otherwise you will have arrogation of power with all its temptations for excess. Such as seen, proven and recorded.

Next, support all business, industry and cultures without looking at race or religion. Suffice to say, they have suffered enough until their main skill is no longer about how to compete but rather how to remain crony of the day or shy when it comes to what truly matter.

Next, show the young that it is alright to realize we have fallen behind; then transform the education system into real and not fake world-class even if that means dichotomy of performance. Start by removing all those bovine menteri's, dead-woods and chauvinists.

Because that is the only way to stem slides, raise real standards, create true targets to aspire, and solve the human capital challenge that underpins everything from global mindset to relevant skills, thinking power and subsidy-free competitiveness. 

Otherwise, you will get principals with no principles.

And don't waste public funds. Need i say more?

Q: Why do you think all that's so difficult for the present government?

B: Because its political party doesn't want to do it. Because once that is done, it unhooks the leash it wields with impunity over the race while derailing its own gravy train. 

For once the community is free, as it should be, they will turn on those pretenders to leadership good only for making trouble, wasting public funds and messing up both society and nation besides destroying the real potential of the race.

Q: You reckon it will change itself?

B: Au contraire, these days it only serves itself. You can see as much in the way it is peddling its propaganda and practicing the zenith of double standards. One set of toll-free standards for us the elites and another set of toll-full standards on all you miserable cannon-fodder hoi-polloi.

Q: On which matter, i was wondering why it chose to pit itself against what it called the RBA.

B: Why do you say that?

Q: I am puzzled. If it all along has been saying the DAP is the problem while also hinting that it is the local version of its past nemesis the PAP, then if the PAP was anti-red, how can the DAP be pro-red and thus the term red bean army?

B: What was it that you said you had for sarapan pagi? If still got, pass some over, huh?

Q: Red bean soup?

B:(a rumble, a grimace)

Q: I guess your basic message is people must make friends with one another across all races because real friends make trustworthy suppliers and customers, enlarges market space, and acts as reserves of insurance in times of need and changes. Besides, it fulfills the need of all to be naturally sociable and compassionate.

B: Yes, if Umno thinks it has fixed deposits, why can't the rakyat on their own and for better and more sustainable natural reasons?

Q: So back to bread. Which would you prefer?

B: I think Gardenia is not bad. Massimo is too ambivalent. However the Hainanese i understand make fluffy traditional bread easily toasted to a crisp crust that goes well with kaya and butter, of course all washed down with some piping hot coffee followed by a hand-rolled tobacco....and...oh never mind.

Q: Since you said that, i now ask you what you think of Proton cars.

B: I think the Saga is a good car but only easier on the pocket for the folks through subsidy to the company taken from excise duties on imports. That can't last forever. It's not fair and so uncool. 

Furthermore, it seems to want to leave behind some easily detected and extremely irritating mistakes with each new model. Such as no coordinated sensing of the full tank which itself is too small so that i notice people spilling out costly fuel. After trying to close the doors without having to bang them around. See what i mean? improve here, un-improve there. 

Q: I suddenly realize what you're saying is not about bread nor cars ...

B: Yes, what i am really saying is integration. 

But bear in mind that's not monoculture assimilation which is what the racists in Umno are still attempting to foist after half a century of coexistence which had started swell but is now going downhill revived by each new pack of jokers and opportunists.

Instead, we should all be more easy-going with one another so as to share inputs and ideas that will improve all our products without assigning any racial connotation to them. 

Q: But...

B: But those idiots in Putrajaya persist in trying to do one thing while saying and doing something the opposite in another place and time. And the rakyat have seen through it all for the last time. No credibility, no trust - so how to believe and accept? So they react which puts paid to all attempts at fostering cooperation and ending negative perceptions.

Q: Just let me ask you a simple question. If customers don't support a product, how can its manufacturer develop and grow to be independent of its backer?

B: Then let me ask you back a question. If customers are made to feel they are mistreated or ignored, why should they part with their hard-earned money to support products made by people given a head-start by a government that treats the customers shabbily in other areas?

Q: Then we are in an impasse, no?

B: Yes?

Q: Touche!

B: So how can this situation continue?

Q: Until the funds dry up and more leave. Soon, one presumes.

B: Is that why Kuok left?

Q: He saw far ahead of the world on China. That's how he had enlarged his investments.

B: It's also resilience. He had to sacrifice his roots when making his first fortune while working in the british isles. 

We shouldn't underestimate the importance of resilience that interplays patience and perseverance which underpin long-term success built upon wisdom accumulated from learning through real experience acquired over long term.

Money can't buy that. It only comes from the seal of sacrifice and the salt of sweat. 

The chinese in our midst may be faulted for being too tongue-tied in not articulating that enough.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Verbal sparring over racism in malaysia

                                                    • in indonesia public school, the student did not required to wear hijab, but many girls wear it because of their own will, when ramadhan month, many restaurant on the street remain open but they covered with the curtain . and when i was in high school my non-muslim friends can eat their lunch in the classroom. and we the Muslims do not feel uncomfortable at all with that. why they just don't eat in their classroom ? apa kalian tidak kuat puasa jika melihat orang lain makan dan minum ?

                                                      It's political conditioning. In Indonesia, your government emphasised on homogenous integration and a society which does not infringe on the culture of it's individual peoples. In Malaysia, our government fosters division based on ethnicity and culture in order to sow distrust and fear among the races. A "divide and rule" strategy. Despite the governments exhortations that without them we would dissolve into race riots and anarchy, Malaysians by and large actually get along fine with each other.

                                                      in reply to JakartaJogja Citizen

                                                      The fact is Malays,Chinese & Indians are all Immigrants 'Pendatang' except the True Bumis  who are the Orang Asli,who have been here thousands of years before we all came. How can a newly arrived Indo Muslim be classied Bumi ? compared to non-malays who cleared the land,died defending Malaya and built the country still discriminated ? Hopefully one day all be treated equally. As Malaysians we should be loyal to Country, our National Language Malay & respect each other & focus on harmony.

                                                      That's right. In the end, we are all humans. We may have different ways of thinking, different religions and philosophies, but in the end we are all brothers. People who think they are better than others because of skin colour, country, religion, money or anything else are simply ignorant. The people who put children in a tiny room next to a toilet to eat their meals because they believe these kids religion is not as religious as their own has some serious problems to deal with.

                                                • AdamTezz AdamTezz
                                                  Funny thing is the Chinese over there speaks Indo while most of the Chinese in Malaysia despise Malay language... Integration much?
                                                  in reply to grimweird
                                              • grimweird 
                                                As far as the idea of integration and language is concerned. I believe far more Chinese and Indians can speak BM and even English well is far higher than Malays can speak (or is interested in speaking) anything other than Malay. I believe there's a reason for this and it has nothing to do with which race is smarter. I think it's more because certain parties WANT them to only understand Malay. These parties want to make sure their only source of information and education is the Malaysian version.
                                                in reply to AdamTezz
                                            • AdamTezz 
                                              I don't care about other language, and I'm talking about Malay being the national language.
                                              in reply to grimweird
                                          • grimweird 
                                            Of course you don't care. That's my point. The mentality taught is "You MUST speak the national language. If you are Malaysian, no other language is important. If you learn other languages then you are unpatriotic and should get out of the country." Right? Also... "We need not know about other cultures or other beliefs because our values and society is the best. All others are less important and following any other way of thinking will result in chaos and destabilize our country." Correct?
                                            in reply to AdamTezz

                                            (And here is where it gets interesting with name calling and profanities thrown in but one side kept cool...)

                                        • AdamTezz 
                                          Asking to embrace our national identity is not implying that other language is unimportant. Do Japanese people think that English is useless when they embrace their national identity? Arguing with a liberal idiots like you is a waste of time
                                          in reply to grimweird
                                      • grimweird 
                                        LOL! "Arguing" with an idiot like me, as you call it, is indeed a waste of time and effort for you. Maybe you should consider stopping before you hurt your cute little brain too much :) By the way, if you want to use English to insult me on the internet, may I suggest improving your grammar? Alternatively, use BM, I can understand and write perfectly well in either language.
                                        n reply to AdamTezz
                                    • AdamTezz 
                                      I'm not here to argue grammar. Stop trying to change the topic, liberal scum.
                                      Like I said, embracing our national identity is not implying that other languages or cultures useless or whatsoever. Most non-Malays refuse to embrace, desecrate our national language and religion on daily basis (this incident in this video is an example). It is clear to me that they don;t want to be Malaysians, but they want Malaysia to be like them. Chinasia perhaps
                                      in reply to grimweird
                                  • grimweird 
                                    Angry now? :Like I said, how many non-Malays can speak BM well? This is of course in addition to their mother tongue AND English. So they are essentially trilingual. What about Malays? Now I'm not saying Malays are stupider. But they ARE more limited by language and consequently information and cultural barriers. Consequently they are easier to manipulate as they can only access local and often only mainstream sources of information. You for example are an excellent example of what can result.
                                    in reply to AdamTezz
                                • AdamTezz 
                                  Your kind is lucky enough that our ancestors didn't decide to rip your mother tongue away like how the did to the Indo-Chinese. Yet here you are showing your arrogance, thinking that you are smart with your Western liberal and atheistic thinking.
                                  Your face deserves to be spat on.
                                   in reply to grimweird
                              • grimweird 
                                Thank you for reinforcing your own ignorance and racist image in this "argument" : By the way, if by "our ancestors" you mean the Malays, then it may interest you to know that they as a race were originally from southern China. As were most proto-Malays in the region. Thats INFORMATION. As to my arrogance, I'm sorry if I came across as such to you, I thought I was being rather polite :) Maybe your version of "arrogance" differs from mine. Luckily for me, you can't spit over the internet :

                                 in reply to AdamTezz
                            • The fact is Malays,Chinese & Indians are all Immigrants 'Pendatang' except the True Bumis  who are the Orang Asli,who have been here thousands of years before we all came. How can a newly arrived Indo Muslim be classied Bumi ? compared to non-malays who cleared the land,died defending Malaya and built the country still discriminated ? Hopefully one day all be treated equally. As Malaysians we should be loyal to Country, our National Language Malay & respect each other & focus on harmony.
                              Typical "liberal" argument.
                              They came through natural migration and assimilated with the Nusantaran cultures, not through British occupations. Not only that, through corruption(by licking those Brit's balls) they managed to take most of the capitals(mines, factories). And now in this era they step on our national religion and language and expect the whole Nusantara to embrace their liberal culture.
                              If I'm racist to speak the truth, then so be it.
                               in reply to grimweird
                          • grimweird 
                            LOL!!! You can't even READ... Please, read what I wrote carefully and in full... Also stop sabotaging the logic in your own arguments. Your credibility is already gone after all. You are making it too easy for me to make fun of you. But I still need some satisfaction from ridiculing you after all... C'mon, throw me a bone here... :P
                            in reply to AdamTezz
                        • AdamTezz 
                          You can't refute my statement then you ask me to re-read.. You are this pathetic? (ohh wait, most liberals are pathetic) I understand your statement completely, next you are going to say that Parameswara came from Indonesia therefore Malay Sultanates don't belong here?
                          Why not bring the Neanderthal as well?
                           in reply to grimweird
                      • grimweird 
                        *Sigh* This may be a stretch for you since you are obviously a racist and a wilfully ignorant person who disregards facts in favour of indoctrination and hate. But just search for "Sejarah Melayu" on the internet. The Neanderthals? They went extinct tens of thousands of years ago. Although in your case... :)
                        in reply to AdamTezz
                    • AdamTezz 
                      Call me a racist, sexist or rapist I don't fucking care. Facts will always remain as facts no matter how racist they are. Refute my statement or shut the fuck up.
                      Sighing now? Fuck your feelings too
                      Search for a guy named Tai Zee Kin in Facebook, he shall teach you Chinese liberal scum some respect towards the Nusantaran culture and the true meaning of integration and ASSIMILATION. He is the Chinese worth of my respect, while you deserves to be beheaded.
                      in reply to grimweird
                  • grimweird 
                    Heh... Relax man. You might bust an artery. Also, isn't it the Puasa month? Don't be so angry lah. Afterward batal puasa. Mencarut so much already LOLZ!!! "Sabar itu separuh daripada Iman" right? Also, exactly how sure are you that I'm Chinese? Or in your vocabulary "Cina Babi"? I may possibly be a "Keling" y'know? So you see my dear racist friend I am well "Integrated" into your kind's idea of "1Malaysia" and "Assimilation". Pity you don't respect me. I'll make sure to cry you a river later :
                     in reply to AdamTezz
                • AdamTezz 
                  I don't hate Chinese, I have many Chinese friends. I just hate liberal scums like you who worship whatever your European countries or the US do in the name of absolute freedom.
                  So proud being Westernized much?
                  Btw, Muslims go to war during fasting month in the past...
                   in reply to grimweird
              • grimweird 
                Now you're making up your own fantasy fiction. My, my, my. WHERE did you get these impressions of poor little me from? Was my plain logic unpalatable to your racist palate? Or the fact that I'm pounding you to the ground in this "argument" that you started and you have nothing else to throw at me but the evil, arch-fiend, Satanic "Budaya Barat" that your brainwashers drilled into you? :D Go to war? Yes. Insulted strangers and became furious because someone disagrees with them? No. Anything else?
                 in reply to AdamTezz
            • AdamTezz 
              Awwww tell me how not "Barat" you are now.
              You are pounding me? You can't even refute any of my facts, are like those feminists who love to pat themselves in the back?
              I know a liberal when I see one. So.. going clubbing this weekend? Zouk? Cool guy la you! So Barat! Perfect way of life eyh? All the people in Malaysia should embrace your style.
              Feeling like a nigger bro? Naiseeeeeee...
              in reply to grimweird
          • grimweird 
            LOL!!! It's always morbidly fascinating to me how a xenophobic mind works and what sort of imagery it conjures up based solely on hate and ignorance. Tell me my dear misguided friend, what "facts" have you really presented other than the racial hate speech you were trained to use by your peers? Where will YOU be on the weekends if a "kafir" like me is allowed to ask without being beheaded? I'm just asking because I prefer facts to assumptions or fantasy :)
             in reply to AdamTezz
        • AdamTezz 
          So smart! All religions are just fantasy to you, and deep in your hearts you just despise the fact that Islam is the official religion of Malaysia! But this is Malaysia, not USA. You can go to USA and pretend to be a nigger all you like. But in Malaysia, just shut the fuck up la... Pretending to be a Westerner here is not as cool as you think.
          Why are you so obsessed with Western culture? You don't even have the face to match with them.
           in reply to grimweird
      • grimweird 
        Wow... Is there ANYONE you don't hate? :So... Where are the "facts" you presented? Do you have ANY contribution other than hate, racism, cultural intolerance and your own twisted assumptions? No? Lastly, I don't despise Islam, I don't really even despise you for accusing me of so much with so little justification. Instead I forgive ALL your many "fitnah" against me. In the spirit of Ramadan, I ask that you forgive me if I made you angry with my excellent arguments and obviously superior logic.
         in reply to AdamTezz
    • AdamTezz 
      I just told you dumbfuck, I just hate liberal dogs like you. Can't you READ?
      This canteen incident being blown out of proportion (fitnah) portraying that Islam is "oppressive" is just a pathetic rebuttal from your kind to back up your big brother Alvin Tan (bet you gonna say that yo don't support him. Haha liberals are two faced).
      My fact is simple, embrace and respect our national identity or get the fuck out :)
      And stop it with the pretty words and slogans. I don't buy them
      in reply to grimweird
  • grimweird 
    Easy on the swearing on this holy month my friend. Surely you can get your "points" across without resorting to obscenities. You can right? : Also, I challenge you to find one, just one anti-islamic statement in the comments  Lastly, I've made my position plain in the "Alvin, Vivian didakwa hari ini, tidak dibenar ikat jamin" also by MalaysiaKini, look it up if it's not too much for your ego. Any other accusations or fitnah? Pretty "slogans"? Sorry, I thought you were a Muslim.
    in reply to AdamTezz

    Don't know about you but I am sold by grimweird and think i have to stand in his corner..

    from this you tube comment thread