Doesn't take very much but the passing of a dear one to remind us just how fleeting and tenuous our individual mortality is!
It has been very unsettling to me ever since a child until even now,fast approaching half a century in age, to view a lifeless body.!
Most recent being my very own mother, I am not a very religious person,my mind conceives that to believe in the supernatural,although on the verge of surrendering to the spiritual desires of the heart, but the mind stubbornly resist when it cannot accept what it has problems rationalizing !.
And there she was,laying peacefully, this lifeless form now, but wasn't that long ago when she was alive and existing and full of love to give, this woman that had given me life,to whom i owe my existence, nurtured me ,protected me, mainly enabled me to feel that powerful unconditional maternal love! Till the day she just went to sleep and never woke up!
Even as my heart wrenches , just observing her lying in her casket,seemingly peaceful, that very image triggering conflicting emotions and contradicting thoughts that keep manifesting. A part of me yearns so much to believe that there is a higher realm,another plane of existence or consciousness for those who have exited their physical bodies and my mother is there in soul or spirit now, a thought that calms the restlessness I feel to the core of my very own state of existence and conscious thought!
It bothers my rational mind to reconcile to the fact that the woman you loved and worshiped like a saint has ceased to exist! And hard as it is to ponder, in all frankness, as a Being with a rigid logical mind,you just cannot help but think that maybe , Thats it ! That body which used to be a vessel for a precious precious life full of love has gone and it is no more. It is just what it is, a lifeless form devoid of normal human functions and conscious mind!
And what dreads me the most is the thought that I eventually, as with every thing that lives and breathes,inexorably will be going the same way,
The consciousness I possess now , which so acutely gives me self awareness that I am an intelligent entity , a being who recognizes my place and acknowledges my existence in the universe, will cease the self awareness when it is my time ,the conscious state extinguished like a flame of a candle which has used up all the wax, resting for all eternity! Sentient no more!
And it makes me look restlessly inward at my own mortality ! What will happen when i arrive at that threshold and finally leave my physical body? Will I still be conscious and intelligent as a being ? Will I be a free drifting disembodied spirit looking at my own body, which used to carry my very self! Or will I , this is which i feel most uneasy about, just be another lifeless form of flesh and bone, having lost the very essence that makes me human! My awareness and intellect!
I suppose if thats the case,then it wouldn't really matter to me anymore!
So therefore, a thought lingers, if we were to look more in depth at human mortality, actually we really cannot be sure both ways,is there or isn't there a higher realm of consciousness? After departing from the human form, is our personal consciousness still intact? And moves on to the other realm!
Nobody can agree nor deny for certain, except for church priests, monks or theologians ! I guess you have to die to know for sure!
There are so many unexplained mysterious happenings attributed to the spirit world , right here on earth , that strangely,spooky though it may be,actually gives a sense of hope to atheistic or nihilistic believers that there may be something to this life after death premise, encouraging hope!
We humans have a long history dating back tens of thousand of years, since that time till right now and here,how many humans have existed and died,.probably in the bilions, all that conscious energy from them who have lived and passed on. Also,all the creatures of Mother Nature's creation,their bodies may have died off,but the life forces still lingers.
,There is a personal thought I have,(bordering on Science fiction) I'd like to think that , consciousness doesn't die, because its a form of energy that lingers and seeks out other similar energies to mesh and then just continously drifts on forward through time,ever increasing its core with more and more sentient energy without hosts bodies joining in as it permeates our world, becomes stronger and stronger as a force,that somehow , present day people are tapping in to this energy force in their daily lives without realising it! (Just a hyphothesis mind you!)
Does God exist?
Is there an Almighty ? Or is that very force the almighty in which we speak of !
Being responsible for the creation of everything,? Or do we owe our existence as humanity to mere chance and chemical reactions and evolution!
What is consciousness and intelligence in the scheme of things in the universe? Is there a reason or purpose that we seem to be the only beings on this earth capable of intelligence. A totally random act of chance? Or the deliberate design of a omnipotent being,?
But one things is for sure! No matter what you believe, our physical tenure as existing beings is so very brief in the scale of the universe!
Surely there is more to this state of life and consciousness and self awareness!
Therefore with that realization on just how brief our tenure on the earth is,50 years and 60 years is hardly anything at all in the scale of universal time,so with what limited time we have in our physical bodies,lets make the most of it! Why dwell on things we are not sure off like life, death and mortality.
Unless you are a very religious person, or a college professor or theologian or philosopher researching the subject there are just too many questions on life and living and purpose and dying and life after death!
We cannot change what's inevitable, it will just be counter productive to worry too much about dying and what comes after and in the process forgetting how to live.!
I'd rather kick the bucket with a smile and realization that i 've done as much as i can to live life joyful and contented.,and didn't let too many anxious thoughts weigh me down!
BryanBB
Very intellectual, Bryan...I like what you have written. Even as I read it, you remind me of the conversation I just had with my sister and much of what you said reflect much of what she thinks. And even further...memories of HOW I used to think and still does, are verbalized within what you wrote. So true...that in your closing statements, you mentioned it would be "counter-productive" to worry too much about dying and what comes after and in the process of it all, forget to live.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's WHY we SHOULD "learn" the fundamentals of HOW to LIVE. And it is in this very essence that I find the Word of God makes all sense. The Word of God tells me WHY I am here, HOW I should live, and WHAT happens when I do all that. Yes...perhaps many other religions or philosophies also tell us more or less the same thing...but the REAL difference is that in the BIBLE (ie. the Word of God), the answers are really more meaningful, intelligent, philosophical...and yet, draws ALL to the centre where the sovereignty of a more ecstatic, exalted and infinite HOLY source can be found. In a very brief expression, WHY I am here...is to be a purpose for others, never just for ourselves....HOW I should live...is so that I can serve my Creator and in turn serve others, ultimately living out my purpose....and WHAT happens when I do all that? It draws peace and joy and happiness to me...some of the basic elements which EVERYONE would NOT deny wanting to have (the rich, poor, pretty, ugly, good, bad.....they all want these).
If on the contrary, I spend very little time to understand my very existence here in this living world...then I would never understand the essence of LIFE as it should be. I would live a life looking inwards, only to satisfy my own self-centred desires and wants. If this is the case, then whether I exist or not in this world, the world has no need for my existence. My existence would then only be to reap, rape and exploit ALL that God has created...and add no value in return. Maybe that's why there's some wisdom in the phrase "No Man is an Island". We exist to co-habit, to relate to one another, to work together, to be part of society and communities, to be part of the entire system, to be a citizen of a nation, to be a member of a family, etc...etc...in the Christian language...to be part of the body of Christ. :)
Anyway...I honestly enjoyed reading ALL that you have written and am inspired by the thoughts of a "fellow thinker". All glory goes to He who have blessed you with such wisdom and capabilities....and therefore, the inclusion of His existence and presence into your missive would surely make it very complete. Amen to that, bro.
Blessings
Robbin