http://umaandjoe.com/#
Tanda Putra written review : /fit-for-golden-raspberry-award-biggest-box-office-flop/
Negara Ku ..Happy Birthday Malaysia
lazada
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
Well, he sounds really pissed off.!
Guess he is upset!!
This is an actual letter sent to the Australian DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister. The Government tried desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it could not stop laughing !
Dear Mr Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs and condoms from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born
and on what date ?
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand ?
My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years.
It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off planes
over the past 30 years.
It's also on all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.
Also... would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely bloody astounded if that ever
changed between now and when I drop dead !!!
SHIT! What do you people do with all this information we keep having to provide?
I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning.
Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bullshit!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bloody address!
What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there!
And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether or not I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? In the unlikely event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other side of Sydney , and get another bloody copy of my birth certificate - and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?
This is an actual letter sent to the Australian DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister. The Government tried desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it could not stop laughing !
Dear Mr Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs and condoms from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born
and on what date ?
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand ?
My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years.
It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off planes
over the past 30 years.
It's also on all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.
Also... would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely bloody astounded if that ever
changed between now and when I drop dead !!!
SHIT! What do you people do with all this information we keep having to provide?
I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning.
Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bullshit!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bloody address!
What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there!
And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether or not I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? In the unlikely event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other side of Sydney , and get another bloody copy of my birth certificate - and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?
The English Cottage: Our Brain
The English Cottage: Our Brain: Some of these are things things that I saw for this first time - so I thought I'd share it with you :)
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Politically incorrect stereotypes
Absobloominglutely politically INcorrect . . .
On a desolate island in the middle of nowhere, the following group of people are shipwrecked:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
One month later, on the same island:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
The two American men are depressed because the American woman complains about her body, the nature of feminism, that the water tastes bad, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least it isn't raining on the island.
The two Indian men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Dumb Tourist questions.
How do you answer questions that are so dumbfounding. you get stupefied racking your brain for a response?
AS a one who had worked in the tourism industry, catering to tourist from around the world, I must say there are certain times when one is asked questions which are so silly, it is very difficult to give a straight-face response. Sometimes one wonders whether these tourist just brought their luggage but forgot to bring their brains when you consider the questions that are asked by them.
Here is a small compilation of the dumb questions tourist asks. For example, in Hong Kong, a colleague related to me this question by a tourist. “At what time do they fire the noon day gun?”
Also in Scotland, I am sure a tourist did ask this question, “At what time will they feed Nessie, the Loch Ness creature?”
And then there was the tourist who had asked the staff at the Miami visitor’s bureau
.”Please may I know which beach is closest to the ocean?”.
How about the tourist visiting Niagara falls wondering and asking “What time will they turn the water off?”.
My personal encounter with dumb questions was when I was based at a Thai island resort guiding tourist. On a boat tour to surrounding snorkelling spots when out of the blue came this question.
“Is there water on the other side of the island?” and “The sea is so blue here, what color is it on the other side?”
Comments from tourist can rate highly on the stupid side as well. The association of British Travel agents listed some of the dumber comments they had received from travellers.
From beach goers came this remark “ the beach was just too sandy!” Tourist to India had quipped ” It was so disappointing because almost every restaurant serves curry!”. What about the British visitor to Spain who said “There were too many Spanish people!”
There is an anecdote about a very young couple who had booked a room at a resort hotel and of which they wrote to the hotel “My fiancé’ and I had booked a twin bedded room at your hotel but we were placed in a double bedded room instead. So now, we are holding you responsible for the fact that I have found myself pregnant as a consequence”.
NEITHER CAN WHAT IS SAID CANNOT BE UNSAID..
AS a one who had worked in the tourism industry, catering to tourist from around the world, I must say there are certain times when one is asked questions which are so silly, it is very difficult to give a straight-face response. Sometimes one wonders whether these tourist just brought their luggage but forgot to bring their brains when you consider the questions that are asked by them.
Here is a small compilation of the dumb questions tourist asks. For example, in Hong Kong, a colleague related to me this question by a tourist. “At what time do they fire the noon day gun?”
Also in Scotland, I am sure a tourist did ask this question, “At what time will they feed Nessie, the Loch Ness creature?”
And then there was the tourist who had asked the staff at the Miami visitor’s bureau
.”Please may I know which beach is closest to the ocean?”.
How about the tourist visiting Niagara falls wondering and asking “What time will they turn the water off?”.
My personal encounter with dumb questions was when I was based at a Thai island resort guiding tourist. On a boat tour to surrounding snorkelling spots when out of the blue came this question.
“Is there water on the other side of the island?” and “The sea is so blue here, what color is it on the other side?”
Comments from tourist can rate highly on the stupid side as well. The association of British Travel agents listed some of the dumber comments they had received from travellers.
From beach goers came this remark “ the beach was just too sandy!” Tourist to India had quipped ” It was so disappointing because almost every restaurant serves curry!”. What about the British visitor to Spain who said “There were too many Spanish people!”
There is an anecdote about a very young couple who had booked a room at a resort hotel and of which they wrote to the hotel “My fiancé’ and I had booked a twin bedded room at your hotel but we were placed in a double bedded room instead. So now, we are holding you responsible for the fact that I have found myself pregnant as a consequence”.
NEITHER CAN WHAT IS SAID CANNOT BE UNSAID..
Monday, July 29, 2013
The "China" moment that united the races in Malaysia
1st version is a shortened version beginning from the time Tun Razak ascended to the premiership,introduction of the NEP and the noble ideals of balancing the economic pie and ending in the China visit that united the races.
The full documentary
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Whose bread to buy? UMNO bread or OPPOSITION bread?
Q: But what would you want the government to do otherwise?
B: Do the right things.
Clean itself up.
Be more self-critical than trying to tar others who want to represent the middle majority of moderates and pragmatists.
Uphold human and people rights independent of religious connotations.
Practice real democracy even if it means hollowing itself out. After all, a good government won't want to hold monopoly over people.
Next, axe racism, racialism, chauvinism and parochialism. They know what they are. They started them.
And importantly, never help one up at the expense of others. Help all up equally. It's not about catch-up to equalize. How can equalization be truly achieved if one is given and the other really worked for it, furthermore against artificially constructed hurdles?
Even in bread-making, you can see there has really been no sustainable equalization. Because of the principle of action-reaction. People rail against injustice and unfairness. You can't expect otherwise. It's in human nature. That's an antidote against despotism.
In other words, stop all those nonsensical zero-sum hunger games that says more for me can only happen if i make sure less for you.
Some nut case makes it his life-mission to policy such a game just because he remembered he had to sell banana fritters when he was young. What about those who had to sell crullers when they were young because his policy had marginalized them?
Might is right again, is it? If that be the case, a government which only serves might is right has automatically and instantly disqualified its right to govern, for it is no different from the despotism of that tinpot.
And that is also why government procedures must be simplified but at the same time integrity and efficiency must be put on top and across all structures, otherwise you will have arrogation of power with all its temptations for excess. Such as seen, proven and recorded.
Next, support all business, industry and cultures without looking at race or religion. Suffice to say, they have suffered enough until their main skill is no longer about how to compete but rather how to remain crony of the day or shy when it comes to what truly matter.
Next, show the young that it is alright to realize we have fallen behind; then transform the education system into real and not fake world-class even if that means dichotomy of performance. Start by removing all those bovine menteri's, dead-woods and chauvinists.
Because that is the only way to stem slides, raise real standards, create true targets to aspire, and solve the human capital challenge that underpins everything from global mindset to relevant skills, thinking power and subsidy-free competitiveness.
Otherwise, you will get principals with no principles.
And don't waste public funds. Need i say more?
Q: Why do you think all that's so difficult for the present government?
B: Because its political party doesn't want to do it. Because once that is done, it unhooks the leash it wields with impunity over the race while derailing its own gravy train.
For once the community is free, as it should be, they will turn on those pretenders to leadership good only for making trouble, wasting public funds and messing up both society and nation besides destroying the real potential of the race.
Q: You reckon it will change itself?
B: Au contraire, these days it only serves itself. You can see as much in the way it is peddling its propaganda and practicing the zenith of double standards. One set of toll-free standards for us the elites and another set of toll-full standards on all you miserable cannon-fodder hoi-polloi.
Q: On which matter, i was wondering why it chose to pit itself against what it called the RBA.
B: Why do you say that?
Q: I am puzzled. If it all along has been saying the DAP is the problem while also hinting that it is the local version of its past nemesis the PAP, then if the PAP was anti-red, how can the DAP be pro-red and thus the term red bean army?
B: What was it that you said you had for sarapan pagi? If still got, pass some over, huh?
Q: Red bean soup?
B:(a rumble, a grimace)
Q: I guess your basic message is people must make friends with one another across all races because real friends make trustworthy suppliers and customers, enlarges market space, and acts as reserves of insurance in times of need and changes. Besides, it fulfills the need of all to be naturally sociable and compassionate.
B: Yes, if Umno thinks it has fixed deposits, why can't the rakyat on their own and for better and more sustainable natural reasons?
Q: So back to bread. Which would you prefer?
B: I think Gardenia is not bad. Massimo is too ambivalent. However the Hainanese i understand make fluffy traditional bread easily toasted to a crisp crust that goes well with kaya and butter, of course all washed down with some piping hot coffee followed by a hand-rolled tobacco....and...oh never mind.
Q: Since you said that, i now ask you what you think of Proton cars.
B: I think the Saga is a good car but only easier on the pocket for the folks through subsidy to the company taken from excise duties on imports. That can't last forever. It's not fair and so uncool.
Furthermore, it seems to want to leave behind some easily detected and extremely irritating mistakes with each new model. Such as no coordinated sensing of the full tank which itself is too small so that i notice people spilling out costly fuel. After trying to close the doors without having to bang them around. See what i mean? improve here, un-improve there.
Q: I suddenly realize what you're saying is not about bread nor cars ...
B: Yes, what i am really saying is integration.
But bear in mind that's not monoculture assimilation which is what the racists in Umno are still attempting to foist after half a century of coexistence which had started swell but is now going downhill revived by each new pack of jokers and opportunists.
Instead, we should all be more easy-going with one another so as to share inputs and ideas that will improve all our products without assigning any racial connotation to them.
Q: But...
B: But those idiots in Putrajaya persist in trying to do one thing while saying and doing something the opposite in another place and time. And the rakyat have seen through it all for the last time. No credibility, no trust - so how to believe and accept? So they react which puts paid to all attempts at fostering cooperation and ending negative perceptions.
Q: Just let me ask you a simple question. If customers don't support a product, how can its manufacturer develop and grow to be independent of its backer?
B: Then let me ask you back a question. If customers are made to feel they are mistreated or ignored, why should they part with their hard-earned money to support products made by people given a head-start by a government that treats the customers shabbily in other areas?
Q: Then we are in an impasse, no?
B: Yes?
Q: Touche!
B: So how can this situation continue?
Q: Until the funds dry up and more leave. Soon, one presumes.
B: Is that why Kuok left?
Q: He saw far ahead of the world on China. That's how he had enlarged his investments.
B: It's also resilience. He had to sacrifice his roots when making his first fortune while working in the british isles.
We shouldn't underestimate the importance of resilience that interplays patience and perseverance which underpin long-term success built upon wisdom accumulated from learning through real experience acquired over long term.
Money can't buy that. It only comes from the seal of sacrifice and the salt of sweat.
The chinese in our midst may be faulted for being too tongue-tied in not articulating that enough.
sourced from the comment thread: http://sakmongkol.blogspot.com/2013/07/others-bread-is-too-salt-gardedian-vs.html
Saturday, July 27, 2013
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B: As in roti or gabenor or the rock band?
Q: (grits teeth) How about roti?
B: Either white or black.
Q: (eyes widen). I'm astonished. Ne'er thought you're a racist.
B: (sighs). I was meaning white bread which is somewhat less healthy but goes well with anything, or black bamboo charcoal bread which has a nice flavor.
Can i make you a sandwich of one slice white and the other slice black? Like the ivory and ebony keys of a piano?
Incidentally, take either one off, and music can't be made harmoniously from that instrument.
But you already knew that, didn't you?
Q: What's in between your white-black sandwich, then?
B: Nothing. Aren't we not supposed to talk about gabenor?
Q: Umm. Back to this gardenia versus massimo debate. Where do you stand?
B: (looks at the ground sheepishly). Sini?
Q: Seriously and surely, there must be some issue in it all?
B: Ok, but only if you insist.
I think if we widen our mental horizon, the matter is all about people and principles.
Now if we converge people and principles into a complex and extend that complex upwards to an absolute end, then we reach a certain Destination which carries a certain message.
Take me for instance. I am now doing what i was doing ever since the country started. It's like the message is saying, go back to remedial class and relearn the lesson. A second chance before exit, perhaps.
Q: Hmm. That either sounds sad or encouraging, or both.
B: Yes, life is about choices within the swirl of destiny. People can choose the principles they want to practice. However the outcomes may turn out other than expected.
Now, what is the principle behind this bread equation?
That value for money should be independent of race.
That if we continue to see everything through the lens of race, then we will only extend what we want to end.
Because the other principle of life is all about action and reaction, and it operates continuously.
You react by race and i will act by race to counteract your reaction.
Then you react to my reaction and the cycle continues, enlarges and deepens.
And that because those who want to keep this cycle in order to justify their own importance will be more than willing to lend a mischievous hand to make it happen perpetually.
Somehow, someday, somewhere, we must cut this gordian knot that is snuffing out our instinctive predisposition for kindness, compassion and goodwill towards all fellowmen and women.
(especially women).
Because an eye for an eye makes all blind and the world a monochrome of darkness. Mehr licht, mein kinde getan!
I think it's long overdue, and GE12 and GE13 have shown as much that the Rakyat of Malaysia realize it is not about being civilized to one another for just political expediency which is the solution.
In fact, it is the problem, for it strengthens the very structure that must be dismantled because that structure propagates differentiation and division in order to usurp power from the people.
So that when people are weakened by that, principles suffer as well and the long hard path to the absolute end becomes harder to discern.
No?
Q: Can i make you a cuppa coffee to go with the sandwich you're going to make me?
B: Why don't i make both for you, and you can add something in between the sandwiches for both of us?
Q: Ah, i get what you're not saying.
B: Right now, who is really running the country? The gabenor in a piece of paper. The value of that paper has been dropping. Meanwhile the functions of commerce and industry have been propped by subsidies denominated in that currency. This actually double erodes the fixed deposits of reserves for future generations besides raising financing charges that swallow up any hard-earned gains.
Therefore one cannot escape the conclusion people who are thankful to a government just because it gives subsidies forget their own future generations will be the ones paying for those subsidies utilized today, in too many cases just to survive. Yes?